Shining

I heard this quote recently and it gave me food for thought.
Hope it does for you too

...when you let your own light shine,

 you unconsciously give others permission to do the same

Shine on

Danni xx

Hmmmmm....

I just have to start with this ~ I took this photo,

and while it is a little out of focus,

I just LOVE it - and it is straight off my iPhone -

no instagram or any other app -

that is the colour of the sky the day I took it!

I've been in a bit of a blog fog lately...which is why I've probably relied so much on photos in my last few posts.

There is so much going on in my head and so much I want to write about that I'm not sure where to start, and how to make sense of it all....

Then I remembered Van Gogh's words:

"If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint"...

then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced"

Wise words.

So - here I am! Maybe I'll start with some photos that I've taken recently... I'm using photography as my creative outlet at the moment ( we've all gotta have one, right???) - Plus these images just make me smile - even if they're not techinically perfect! 

As I've mentioned several times before here , here and here ...music impacts my life in a big way. Here's what's been helping me lately. We sing this at Church and I just love it.

Power Of Your Love

Sometimes I feel like I need more of a guiding hand - then I realise that it's there, I'm just not using it! I get too side-tracked sweating the small stuff...

I'm trying very hard to pull myself out of the funk that I'm in at the moment - but sometimes the magnitude of things overwhelms me and I succumb to old ways.... silly, I know.... but in the words of good old Neil Diamond

"...everyone's got rainy days

it isn't so much if, but when"

The sun has been shinig beautifully today and spring is definitely on it's way - the flowers are blooming, the weather is warming up and the kids are loving playing outside again ! So I've focused on that today!

Talk again soon - I'm writing about "Truths" too at the moment - it's pretty confronting - and I think that's where my "block" is....

Love

Danni xx

A little Van Gogh Inspiration again

 

       " There may be a time in life when one is tired of everything, and feels

as if all one does is wrong, and there may be some truth in it -

do you think this is a feeling one must try to forget and banish,

or is it "the longing for God", which one must not fear,

but cherish to see if it may bring us some good?

Is it "the longing for God" which leads us to make a choice which

we never regret?

Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle."

Danni xx

There's a hole in my bucket...

Part of why I started this Blog in the first place... (besides being so completely inspired by Meredith at Count It All Joy was because I was feeling a little "blah" and negative. So I thought that maybe by putting my thoughts "out there" and by making a conscious effort to be more positive and to try to see the good/happy/colourful/positive things in my life and concentrate on those as opposed to dwelling on the negatives that it would help.

And it definitely has.

But I also think I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to constantly be "up" and positive about EVERYTHING - at least on a surface level and how I presented myself to the outside world.

Truth is, I took this so much to an extreme ( a tendency of mine) that it actually became a bit of a facade. Not in the kind of "fake it til you make it" way - which was my intention... but more of a " no, you're not allowed to have a down day... you can't feel like that .... you have nothing to be sad about... you just can NOT feel blah anymore in any way about any thing..."

I realise that this put added pressure on me. Correction - I put added pressure on me.

I'm only human, right?

While of course I was actually seeing the Colour in my world and being thankful for all the blessings in my life... I too felt that my bucket was near empty.

 I remember years ago our wonderful [now retired] family GP told me that it was a wonderful thing that I gave so much to others and that I cared blah blah.... but that if I was constantly watering others from my bucket... and mine wasn't getting replenished in the way that it needed to be... then my bucket was going to run dry! It was one of those "ah-hah" moments for me. Might sound simple and logical but at the time it was the only thing that struck a chord.. .and I set about filling that bucket up again... or finding the way to let others do that too

I realised the other day that the red light was flashing on my bucket gauge and I needed to do something about it. I needed to acknowledge that I have needs to ( they are actually quite simple I think) and to take responsibility regarding them.

I had a conversation with a family member that perhaps put things into perspective for me. I think I've said it before that it's funny how it takes someone else to reinforce what you already know yourself. I was on a little bit of a "poor me" rant and she gently reminded me of a few home truths. Not nasty ones, but ones that made me realise that I'm feeling sorry for myself about the things that actually make me who I am and that make me the happiest.

I remembered also, the words from a couple of addresses at Church over that last few weeks about : Truths ~Your own truths and what they mean to you and Healing ~ That I can still help and heal others (pain) and remain doing what I love but must remember to draw strength from other places so as not to "sap" my energy and take on board others issues. That's where I was going wrong...

Maybe my bucket wasn't nearly empty... I think there was just a hole... but I fixed it Dear Reader, Dear reader.... fixed it!

 

Danni xx

Hope...

I heard this quote on an episode of "Criminal Minds" the other day, and it struck a chord with me. Funny where our inspirations come from isn't it?

      "Hope is the thing with feathers,

 that perches in the soul,

and sings the tune without the words,

and never stops at all."

~Emily Dickinson

When I was Google-ing (!) to find  the exact quote, I came across Nietzche's thoughts on Hope too:

  "Hope in reality is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torment of man"

What a sad way to view the world.

 I think I much prefer Emily's

What is Hope?

What does it mean to you?

Hope gives me something to cling to , to aspire to , to encourage me to achieve I guess.

It helps give inspiration and is a driving force in collaboration with

other foundations like faith, love and determination.

I was thinking about this during the week - without Hope, I may not have been

a mother to this day.

Without Hope, I would have given up on so many opportunities and

situations in my life that have lead me to where I am in my life

right now.

Without Hope, I may not get to where I want to be in the future ~ as

unknown as that is for me

Without Hope I wouldn't have anything to
Close my Eyes Make a Wish and Blow on!

 

Without Hope I wouldn't hold onto my dream of wanting to

make a difference in other children's lives by

attempting to be a Foster Parent.

Without Hope - I'll never reach the end of my ironing basket!!!!

Pink Bird of Hope by Middleburg Folk Art Studio

Off to primp my feathers

Danni xx

No Matter What...

Who would have ever thought that I'd be using Boyzone as an influence

or inspiration for my blog...
or at all really????

I heard/listened to/sang this song at Church the other week,

and haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since.
( see, I told you that music has a big influence on my life
-it has a way of talking to me and makes me think)

It was only after talking to my beautiful, honest
and skeptical friend ,
(who is here from overseas at the moment)
that I realised and had confirmed just how much
I love my Church,
what it represents
and how much it's helped me to grow.
So Thank You dear friend x

I'm slowly learning to have faith
in my faith

I'm slowly learning to have faith
in me!

"No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true "

I LOVE that line:
What we believe is true
My beliefs are my truths,
just as
your beliefs are yours.
Isn't that great?
Even when I'm not certain of what my beliefs are,
and even if our beliefs vary,
isn't it nice to think that they are still valid,
that they still provide comfort and peace to us,
as individuals?

Listen to the song here (click)

 

Lots of love to you ALL

No matter what

 

Danni xx

Laughter...

I read recently that a 6 yr old child laughs anywhere from 300-600 times a day, but the average adult only laughs from 15-150 times a day.


This got me thinking. How sad is that? How sad is it that as we age, we lose the ability to laugh so freely? Of course I understand that "life" and the responsibilities that come along with it can get in the way... but surely we still all have the capacity to laugh more?

You don't stop laughing cause you grow old.

You grow old cause you stop laughing!

The best sound in the world to me is my kids laughter - individually it makes my heart sing - laughing together lifts my heart so high it soars! There is something so infectious about laughter - it really can leave you feeling so uplifted and good!


My neighbour mentioned to me the other day that she could hear my friend and I laughing over coffee, as she hung clothes on her line - and she said it was just so nice to hear - that it made her smile and feel like laughing too! How great is that???


Since I read this, I have tried to make a conscious effort to laugh more - or at the very least - find more to laugh about - or even try to find the funny side of things! I try to ensure  as a balance to all the negative ( "don't do that" "no you can't have that" ...) that I make my kids laugh a few times each and every day. This is not hard to do - my kids are such gigglers! I love that. Just something as simple as a kiss on the neck is enough to send Finn into hysterical laughter - couple that with a little tickle and he's putty in your hands. Ruby loves to play the "No, I love YOU more" game - and this is a sure fire way of getting her to be the giggling gertie that I love.... such simple things.

Wishing you days full of laughter...

Danni xx

( BTW.... if you want a laugh right now... I read this "fact" on the strip of paper that protects the "sticky bit" of a panty liner .... )

Colour my world

In the light of all this cold, rain and "grey-ness" ..

I thought I'd find the colour in my world and share some with you!

I LOVE pretty tea towels!

These are still from Mother's Day!

Plenty of colour as Ruby's eye heals

Finn making a "bowl - cano"! Such a funny boy!

Hope you can find plenty of colour in YOUR world too

Danni xx

React or Respond?

Sometimes you just need someone else to verbalise what you already know and/or think, to make you look at things a little differently. Or, to reconfirm what you "think" is right... it can be even better when this reconfirmation comes from an unlikely source or a stranger - somehow it seems to have a bigger impact then. Don't you think?


I've been thinking a lot about my behaviours regarding stressful situations and the kids, as you've read. I don't like how I handle some circumstances. I was reminded recently that I am human and we all slip up and make mistakes and that is part of the humbling job of parenthood - sure, couldn't agree more. But that doesn't mean that I can't try harder, surely? I am trying to act in a more deliberate way, rather than flying off the handle in a grace-less manner, displaying little self control.


 On the way to Church the other night, I was wondering what "lesson" I would come away with... and what impact it would have on me. The address actually covered many topics and touched my heart with a few. The thing, however, that had the biggest impact on my was about "reacting" and "responding" and the differences between these two behaviours.


To react is to act on impulse and usually with emotion at the forefront.


To respond involves a level of conscious control ( not of the situations, but how it impacts you), with thought involved. Thus it is a more "measured" response. This can only be a good thing, yes? - because as most aspects of emotion are over ridden by intellect and a thought- full process.


It is much easier to hypothesise about than to put into practice... but you can never have too many reminders to make you think "What am I doing?" "How am I acting?" "Why am I reacting/responding like this?" "Am I reacting to the actual situation or is there something else affecting how I react/respond?" And I guess most importantly "What is the best way that I can respond?" I think that one's the key.

Danni xx

Feathering my Nest...

With all the chaos, dust and drama going on here at "Chez Cheese" - I have managed an escapism that isn't complete procrastination ( please note I added the complete there) I am so enjoying looking, researching, choosing and of course buying new things as well as "upcycling" ( dont' you just love that term?) some older stuff that we have lying around here - all in the effort to bring some life and positive energy back into our home.

I will do a final post later of the finished product ( although are renovations/maintenance ever finished??) - and because I feel that may be some time before it's done -  I thought I'd show you some of things I have acquired along the way - things that make me smile and represent a little corner of our world ... for various reasons.

I found this little stand quite by accident, but it spoke to me...

so I answered!

2 days later I found this tin plaque - and I knew the perfect spot for it!

Isn't this the sweetest thing? Haven't completely decided where she's going to reside,

but she's very pretty!

My Granny's vase that I pulled out of a packing box.. a perfect vessel to display my daisies

 I admired this fruit bowl before we decided we were renovating the kitchen...

 so when we did,I bought it!

My Mother's Day present - so spoilt!

An oldie but a goodie - I love this colour and want to add more to the kitchen.

Have heard a rumour that Donna Hay has expanded her range recently.....

 I found a little stone birdie to go in here yesterday, no photo yet though

I know, I'm sad... I get excited about nice tea towels

I actually bought these 2 years ago, but never hung them. My laundry and toilet downstairs

are now a lovely rich Olive Green... I think these have a new home

 

I like to think of these things as ...... pieces of a jigsaw - that when put together will help to contribute to the bigger picture that is our home.

 

Danni xx

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to everyone out there!

What does Mother's Day mean to you?

For me it's significance changed significantly

( that kinda sounds wrong but I like it, so bear with me)

once I became a Mum.

For me - it's obviously still about my Mum, but it is also a time for me to

count my blessings and to give thanks that I have the privilege of being

a Mother myself.

There was a time in my life ( a very sad, lonely and sometimes bitter time) when I never thought that

I would ever hear a little voice call me Mummy. It was a time when everyone around me seemed

to be having babies or were pregnant. Mother's Days were always very hard for me - for while

I was giving thanks for my own wonderful mother,

my heart was aching and breaking in two because I was not one.

It was all I ever wanted in the world and I did not have it - I would have traded anything.

 I was starting to give up hope.

How was I to cope with it if that was what was meant to be for me?

But...

Like the saying goes... "All good things come to those who wait" and I am now blessed with

two of the most precious beings on this earth after a 7 year journey.  

As you may have read in a post a couple of days ago, the Big Cheese and I have decided

no more babies for us....

So this Mother's Day - for me, is about my babies.

Finn - my beautiful blue eyed boy.

What a miracle you are and what joy you brought into our lives.

I never thought I could love anyone as much as I loved you from the moment you were born.

I felt totally complete the moment I first held you in my arms.. like the part of me that

had been missing for so long finally clicked into place.

You were such a beautiful baby - with this ginger hair and big blue eyes...

nothing like we'd pictured you to be.

You were even more perfect.

Three and a half years on and you are still the love of my life.

You have the most wonderful laugh, smile and sense of humour.

Words of affirmation are your love language and you know how to use them.

My favourite is: "Mum... I love you so so much" - I could listen to that forever.

You constantly amaze and amuse me little man.

Sure,there are times too, that you drive me crazy...

( Once when I muttered that under my breath, Finn said -

 are we turning left or right, Mum?)

....but I wouldn't change you for the world.

Thank you for being my baby boy.

I LOVE you more.

My other little surprise miracle Ruby.

After all the years of trying to have Finn - you were such a welcome surprise!

The bond I felt with you was immediate - you were my little girl. You were

as dark as Finn was fair and I loved that about you. And so so pretty -

My little cheeky chops.

My little snuggle bunny. To this day 2 years on, you still "assume the position" on my left

shoulder when you need a Mummy "tuddle"

You are such a little smoosher - you love your cuddles and kisses.

Physical touch is your love language as are acts of service - you love to help

and are the first to give someone a kiss or cuddle if you think they are upset or

have hurt themselves.

I'll never forget the first time I heard you say

"Besh you Mummy" in the car after I sneezed. You are just so sweet.

I love that you love your big brother so much and that you have a wicked sense of

humour - never lose that twinkle in your eye sweetie - it will get you far.

Thank YOU for being my baby girl.

I love you more.

Thanks Mum for giving me such a great example to follow.
Love you

Danni xx

I just can't get you out of my head...

I had an encounter yesterday with a gorgeous gorgeous little man at Finn's preschool. I saw him in the morning when he was being dropped off and my first thought was "Oh he looks like a  cherub" He had that white blond hair, big blue eyes and beautiful skin with rosy cheeks. But a real sadness in his eyes.

I also thought about him a couple of times throughout the day ( hectic as it was). When I went to get Finn that afternoon the same little boy came up to me and stood leaning on my leg as I was talking to the teachers. We were having a good old natter and this little one just kept hanging around... I found myself absently playing with his hair as I talked - not even realising what I was doing - just like it was one of my kids. He looked up at me with these big blue eyes and my heart melted. I told one of the teachers how gorgeous I thought he was , that there was something about him and that I hadn't seen him before. They said that he was in foster care and not sure how long he was going to be there. My heart melted a little more.

As we continued our social chat, he stayed by my side - then ever so quietly and gently, I found these little fingers and hand slipping into mine - holding on tight - just like it was meant to be there. My heart melted completely.

I wanted to take him home with us there and then.

As some of you know.. we tried for a baby for 7 long years. It was a long and rocky road and included a lot of heart ache and loss. But - we got there in the end and have been blessed with two beautiful children.( More about this journey in another posting at another time)

Along the journey at several points, I contemplated foster care and adoption. But since having my two, these thoughts have been pushed back into the recesses of my mind ( what a scary place that must be!) - however they have always been there. I am a carer by nature, I can't help it - sometimes to my detriment I know - but that's who I am.

The Big Cheese and I decided a couple of months ago that we wouldn't have any more children - a concept that I initially struggled with - although I supported it, I just couldn't get my head around it. I mentioned then to him that I was OK with this as long as we didn't rule out Foster Care completely... being the big hearted man that I married him for.. he agreed.

I can't help but feel that I encountered this little man today for a reason... after all... I don't believe in consequences, do I??

Danni xx

Thought for the day....

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Is your Beacon Shining?

When I posted initially about Inspiration, I think I neglected to mention music. Music has a way of speaking to me. I have eclectic taste in music. ( That statement greatly amuses a friend of mine.... maybe more about that another time) Music can affect my moods dramatically and I love that. ( I realise that I'm not Robinson Crusoe in this, but bear with me... I am leading somewhere here) Music can make me laugh, smile, reminisce, feel like dancing, it can make me sing and make me cry ( A LOT of music makes me cry) Music and lyrics make me think too - the messages that they can send can be very powerful.

I heard a song recently - titled "You Can't be a Beacon ( if your Light Don't Shine) " I heard it on a day that I needed to and was meant to hear it. I have heard this song before, but this time,it really spoke to me and I haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since. It's not the music with this song- I'm actually not partial to the nasal drawl or country-fied feel of the song itself - it's the message.  I guess it's reinforcing what I've talked about before - that we need to behave/think/act like we wish others to - to lead by example.

I feel this is something I really need to work on at the moment - and I guess that song was presented to me for a reason. How can I expect my kids to treat each other with patience and kindness and tenderness - when they are not seeing those around them practice this way of communicating. Lately I have been letting the little things get to me and have been reacting in a not so exemplary way - especially where the kids are concerned. How can I then reprimand them for their behaviours when they are simply replicating mine? It is a true awakening for me some days.

You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine
You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine
There's a little light in all of us by God's design
But you can't be a beacon if your light don't shine

How can you ask for truth when you do not truthful live
How can you ask forgiveness when you don't forgive
I don't mean to bring you down or speak to you unkind
But you can't be a beacon if your light don't shine

You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine
You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine
There's a little light in all of us by God's design
And you can't be a beacon if your light don't shine

How can you ask a child to be honest and true
When he can only judge what's right by what he sees in you
How can you offer vision yet walk around blind
No you can't see a beacon if it's light don't shine

You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine
You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine
There's a little light in all of us by God's design
You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine

May God's love surround you, may you find a brighter day
May He grant you the peace you seek in every way
God's light burns in each life, in yours and mine
And you can be a beacon if you just let it shine

You can be a beacon if you let it shine
You can be a beacon if you let it shine
There's a little light in all of us by God's design
And you can be a beacon if you'll just let it shine

You can be a beacon if you let it shine
You can be a beacon if you let it shine
There's a little light in all of us by God's design
And you can be a beacon if you let it shine

I think we can all learn something from this - for the better we are/act/feel then the more we shine - which in turn,  then reflects in others.

You light the way.

You become the shining example.

I hope I will continue to be reminded, to grow and 
to shine much brighter

Danni xx