CloseYourEyesMakeaWishandBlow: I just can't get you out of my head...

I had an encounter yesterday with a gorgeous gorgeous little man at Finn's preschool. I saw him in the morning when he was being dropped off and my first thought was "Oh he looks like a cherub" He had that white blond hair, big blue eyes and beautiful skin with rosy cheeks. But a real sadness in his eyes.

I also thought about him a couple of times throughout the day ( hectic as it was). When I went to get Finn that afternoon the same little boy came up to me and stood leaning on my leg as I was talking to the teachers. We were having a good old natter and this little one just kept hanging around... I found myself absently playing with his hair as I talked - not even realising what I was doing - just like it was one of my kids. He looked up at me with these big blue eyes and my heart melted. I told one of the teachers how gorgeous I thought he was , that there was something about him and that I hadn't seen him before. They said that he was in foster care and not sure how long he was going to be there. My heart melted a little more.

As we continued our social chat, he stayed by my side - then ever so quietly and gently, I found these little fingers and hand slipping into mine - holding on tight - just like it was meant to be there. My heart melted completely.

I wanted to take him home with us there and then.

As some of you know.. we tried for a baby for 7 long years. It was a long and rocky road and included a lot of heart ache and loss. But - we got there in the end and have been blessed with two beautiful children.( More about this journey in another posting at another time)

Along the journey at several points, I contemplated foster care and adoption. But since having my two, these thoughts have been pushed back into the recesses of my mind ( what a scary place that must be!) - however they have always been there. I am a carer by nature, I can't help it - sometimes to my detriment I know - but that's who I am.

The Big Cheese and I decided a couple of months ago that we wouldn't have any more children - a concept that I initially struggled with - although I supported it, I just couldn't get my head around it. I mentioned then to him that I was OK with this as long as we didn't rule out Foster Care completely... being the big hearted man that I married him for.. he agreed.