Hmmmmm....

I just have to start with this ~ I took this photo,

and while it is a little out of focus,

I just LOVE it - and it is straight off my iPhone -

no instagram or any other app -

that is the colour of the sky the day I took it!

I've been in a bit of a blog fog lately...which is why I've probably relied so much on photos in my last few posts.

There is so much going on in my head and so much I want to write about that I'm not sure where to start, and how to make sense of it all....

Then I remembered Van Gogh's words:

"If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint"...

then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced"

Wise words.

So - here I am! Maybe I'll start with some photos that I've taken recently... I'm using photography as my creative outlet at the moment ( we've all gotta have one, right???) - Plus these images just make me smile - even if they're not techinically perfect! 

As I've mentioned several times before here , here and here ...music impacts my life in a big way. Here's what's been helping me lately. We sing this at Church and I just love it.

Power Of Your Love

Sometimes I feel like I need more of a guiding hand - then I realise that it's there, I'm just not using it! I get too side-tracked sweating the small stuff...

I'm trying very hard to pull myself out of the funk that I'm in at the moment - but sometimes the magnitude of things overwhelms me and I succumb to old ways.... silly, I know.... but in the words of good old Neil Diamond

"...everyone's got rainy days

it isn't so much if, but when"

The sun has been shinig beautifully today and spring is definitely on it's way - the flowers are blooming, the weather is warming up and the kids are loving playing outside again ! So I've focused on that today!

Talk again soon - I'm writing about "Truths" too at the moment - it's pretty confronting - and I think that's where my "block" is....

Love

Danni xx

A little Van Gogh Inspiration again

 

       " There may be a time in life when one is tired of everything, and feels

as if all one does is wrong, and there may be some truth in it -

do you think this is a feeling one must try to forget and banish,

or is it "the longing for God", which one must not fear,

but cherish to see if it may bring us some good?

Is it "the longing for God" which leads us to make a choice which

we never regret?

Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle."

Danni xx

There's a hole in my bucket...

Part of why I started this Blog in the first place... (besides being so completely inspired by Meredith at Count It All Joy was because I was feeling a little "blah" and negative. So I thought that maybe by putting my thoughts "out there" and by making a conscious effort to be more positive and to try to see the good/happy/colourful/positive things in my life and concentrate on those as opposed to dwelling on the negatives that it would help.

And it definitely has.

But I also think I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to constantly be "up" and positive about EVERYTHING - at least on a surface level and how I presented myself to the outside world.

Truth is, I took this so much to an extreme ( a tendency of mine) that it actually became a bit of a facade. Not in the kind of "fake it til you make it" way - which was my intention... but more of a " no, you're not allowed to have a down day... you can't feel like that .... you have nothing to be sad about... you just can NOT feel blah anymore in any way about any thing..."

I realise that this put added pressure on me. Correction - I put added pressure on me.

I'm only human, right?

While of course I was actually seeing the Colour in my world and being thankful for all the blessings in my life... I too felt that my bucket was near empty.

 I remember years ago our wonderful [now retired] family GP told me that it was a wonderful thing that I gave so much to others and that I cared blah blah.... but that if I was constantly watering others from my bucket... and mine wasn't getting replenished in the way that it needed to be... then my bucket was going to run dry! It was one of those "ah-hah" moments for me. Might sound simple and logical but at the time it was the only thing that struck a chord.. .and I set about filling that bucket up again... or finding the way to let others do that too

I realised the other day that the red light was flashing on my bucket gauge and I needed to do something about it. I needed to acknowledge that I have needs to ( they are actually quite simple I think) and to take responsibility regarding them.

I had a conversation with a family member that perhaps put things into perspective for me. I think I've said it before that it's funny how it takes someone else to reinforce what you already know yourself. I was on a little bit of a "poor me" rant and she gently reminded me of a few home truths. Not nasty ones, but ones that made me realise that I'm feeling sorry for myself about the things that actually make me who I am and that make me the happiest.

I remembered also, the words from a couple of addresses at Church over that last few weeks about : Truths ~Your own truths and what they mean to you and Healing ~ That I can still help and heal others (pain) and remain doing what I love but must remember to draw strength from other places so as not to "sap" my energy and take on board others issues. That's where I was going wrong...

Maybe my bucket wasn't nearly empty... I think there was just a hole... but I fixed it Dear Reader, Dear reader.... fixed it!

 

Danni xx

Hope...

I heard this quote on an episode of "Criminal Minds" the other day, and it struck a chord with me. Funny where our inspirations come from isn't it?

      "Hope is the thing with feathers,

 that perches in the soul,

and sings the tune without the words,

and never stops at all."

~Emily Dickinson

When I was Google-ing (!) to find  the exact quote, I came across Nietzche's thoughts on Hope too:

  "Hope in reality is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torment of man"

What a sad way to view the world.

 I think I much prefer Emily's

What is Hope?

What does it mean to you?

Hope gives me something to cling to , to aspire to , to encourage me to achieve I guess.

It helps give inspiration and is a driving force in collaboration with

other foundations like faith, love and determination.

I was thinking about this during the week - without Hope, I may not have been

a mother to this day.

Without Hope, I would have given up on so many opportunities and

situations in my life that have lead me to where I am in my life

right now.

Without Hope, I may not get to where I want to be in the future ~ as

unknown as that is for me

Without Hope I wouldn't have anything to
Close my Eyes Make a Wish and Blow on!

 

Without Hope I wouldn't hold onto my dream of wanting to

make a difference in other children's lives by

attempting to be a Foster Parent.

Without Hope - I'll never reach the end of my ironing basket!!!!

Pink Bird of Hope by Middleburg Folk Art Studio

Off to primp my feathers

Danni xx

No Matter What...

Who would have ever thought that I'd be using Boyzone as an influence

or inspiration for my blog...
or at all really????

I heard/listened to/sang this song at Church the other week,

and haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since.
( see, I told you that music has a big influence on my life
-it has a way of talking to me and makes me think)

It was only after talking to my beautiful, honest
and skeptical friend ,
(who is here from overseas at the moment)
that I realised and had confirmed just how much
I love my Church,
what it represents
and how much it's helped me to grow.
So Thank You dear friend x

I'm slowly learning to have faith
in my faith

I'm slowly learning to have faith
in me!

"No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true "

I LOVE that line:
What we believe is true
My beliefs are my truths,
just as
your beliefs are yours.
Isn't that great?
Even when I'm not certain of what my beliefs are,
and even if our beliefs vary,
isn't it nice to think that they are still valid,
that they still provide comfort and peace to us,
as individuals?

Listen to the song here (click)

 

Lots of love to you ALL

No matter what

 

Danni xx

Summary Sunday!

It's been a while since I've taken the time to stop and think about what I have to be thankful for this past week - I randomly do of course but to really think and look back on my week in a positive light is what is needed today!

A few close encounters of the non-patient/non-tolerant and inappropriate kind this week from myself - something to keep in check this next week going forward. It's all about lifes' lesson's isn't it???

In no particular order:

I am grateful for my beloved camera. This is like another child to me and I take it just about anywhere... I'm such a lucky girl ... a good camera enables you to take lots of lovely pics... and the wonder of digital photography allows you to take 563 thousand photos before you get one decent one.. without running up exorbitant processing bills.

Finally my very OWN photo of a dandelion on my Blog!



I am thankful that I have my health,  a roof over my head, clothes on my back and people who love me surrounding me. So many others less fortunate than ourselves out there. I  really am blessed. I have a LOT to smile about.

It made my heart melt when my 2 babies were sick together this week ~ they gave each other "huggles" and shared blankets, tissues and water bottles. I love that they are still so full of love even with high temps and sore tummies. I love that they can still smile - even when feeling really rotten.

I am thankful for some sunshine after all the rain and grey-ness we've had lately - great for a day trip out to a park with bubbles and Ice-cream ! The kids had their first ever ( soft serve) "Mr Whippy" van ice cream... I think the photos speak for themselves!

I was thinking this week how very lucky I am to have a bit of an artistic "eye" - and how that allows me to be a bit creative and to do things on a budget ( which pleases the Big Cheese ) . I found a gorgeous little magnet that had "Welcome - family faith & friends" on it - and knew straight away what I wanted to do with it. Found the perfect frame ( which coincidentally matches my little clock) and voila! another piece to add to my vignette on the foyer/entrance dresser/bookcase/junk storage thingy!

This week had some trying moment but also some wonderful laughs and conversations with people very dear to me. I am very blessed with the friends in my life.I love that they "get" me and know what makes me tick ... and what gives me the giggles.... I love that a quick phone conversation can put so many things back into perspective when feeling a little lost ( for example a text message from a very dear ( and very loopy) friend of mine asking me if I'd ever noticed that the cartoon character Miffy's Mum had a moustache.. and if I had noticed.... was I as concerned about this issue as she was?And did I want to join the crusade in saving Miffy's Mum from looking just like her Dad, but with a pearl necklace????? ) ( please remember that I DID preface the description of this friend as loopy!!! But oh how I love her loopy-ness!)

I wish that I could take away my friend's pain and sorrow sometimes and replace it with rainbows and happiness. I hate feeling helpless when friends are struggling with difficult times.I have learnt ( finally ) not to take other's issues on board, but I still hurt when they hurt and want to make it all go away for them. I wish I knew the right things to say.  I can't take it all away - but I'll Close my eyes, make a wish and blow.



Love

Danni xx

P.S: It's just a little after midnight Sunday.... I think this can still count as Summary Sunday! The Photos took too long to ... oh well doesn't matter! Talk soon xx



Forgiveness

I saw the Oprah show the other day where she interviewed a set of twins that had both been sexually abused by memberS of their family ( yes I meant the capital S ) During the course of the interview - the topic of forgiveness arises.. naturally I guess, given the nature of the show and the topic.


Oprah quoted her favourite definition of Forgiveness:


      "Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed"


I think forgiveness is such a hard thing to do - for the majority of us - maybe because it's also a hard thing to define. I admit - initially when I heard the above quote - I thought it was fabulous and was like "yes, that's it - that's really it - so simple yet, yes! That's it!" ( okay - I can get a little excited about these things sometimes)

However, I have since had time to ponder this a little more - and I really don't think it can be that simple, can it? Or can it? I guess by choosing to forgive, you are choosing to live in the present and  future, rather than in the past. You don't have to forget, but you can release and move forward. It is a conscious decision. The pain and hurt can still be there - it  may just take more time - but the process could be helped along with forgiveness, perhaps?

I think I've come to the conclusion that  forgiveness shouldn't deny responsibility for behaviour. Rather, I think that it means that it's a conscious commitment to not hold the other person in debt for that behaviour. This includes ourselves.

As we know better, we do better. I'm striving to know better....

Danni xx