Vintage revival

Some of you may remember a post I did

click here 

back in April about our Vintage Visits...

Well I am ashamed to say that it is now November

 and we have only just made our first visit back since

Finn asked me if we could go - so we did.

The night before, he packed his "packpack"

( as it's affectionately known as around here)

 with "instruments" ( his harmonica, tambourine, keyboard, guitar)

- so that if they wanted him to -

he'd play to them while Lilly danced!

How could I resist?

It was just so great going back - good to see some familiar faces

 and meet some new ones.

When we weren't greeted by "Stan" in his wheelchair as we entered the building - I feared the worst.

I worried how Finn would take it... so I checked with one of the nurses so that I was prepared in case he asked about him.

 Sure enough after about 3/4 hour Finn tugged on my shirt and said, "But Mum - where's Stan today - do you think he's grumpy?"

I explained that Stan was in heaven now,  that heaven was such a beautiful happy place full of love - that it was impossible for Stan to be grumpy any more...

Finn thought that was awesome and even told the Big Cheese that night at the dinner table. He said " Guess what Dad - Stan will never have to worry about being grumpy ever again cause he's in "heathen" now with Kramer and Molly" ( 2 pets)

While so many of the vintages have confused thought patterns and memory losses, some are stricken by cruel physical ailments that take over their once healthy bodies.

 "Milly" suffers from Parkinson's but her mind seems unaffected.

Her opening words to me were "I thought you'd forgotten us - where is Ruby and Finn?"

I joked a response but it was like a knife through my heart.

We were sitting having a chat with "Dolly" 

 - one of our favourites

- and she was stringing random words together in sentences that made perfect sense to her in her poor muddled mind.

Finn waited til she finished

 - nodding all the time as she was talking - like he "got it" -

then told Dolly that he was now 4 -

and held up 4 fingers.

 In a moment of complete lucidity, Dolly held up her hand,

all fingers outstretched

and said

 "5 soon?"

 and Finn put his little hand up to hers - his palm facing towards hers!

 Oh My!!! It was SUCH a precious and wonderful moment between 2 beautiful souls -

 it touched me so!

It inspired me .

I asked some of the staff what the residents gave their families for Christmas...

after confirmation that they struggle with new ideas

I put forward my suggestion.

An idea was born.

I was so exited and inspired I couldn't wait.

Two days later I went back for another visit -

 this time sans kids

( "Lillian" did ask where they were - quite concerned that I forgot them and left them somewhere all by themselves!)

 I took photo "portraits" of the residents

(who had  or gave permission to do so ) to give their families for Christmas.

 I had such a fun morning - chatting, joking and laughing with the Vintages -

 trying to get the essence of who they are or once had been in a snapshot.

I'd love to be able to share some of them with you -

 however I can't due to privacy

( but have included one of "Dinga's" hands)

Their eyes and hands tell a thousand stories

and I hope I managed to capture that and do them justice.

I am looking forward to our next visit. Ruby wants to wear her "ballerina" outfit to show them - and I can't wait to see their faces

Danni xx

Blessings....

Here's what I'm thankful for lately...

My beautiful boy's laugh

Bringing colour to someone else's world

Older generations taking the time to spend with younger ones

Breakfast and coffee with my baby girl

Grandparents

Fresh flowers - they smelt really good too

as you walked in the front door!

Cheeky smiles

Sunny days

Neighbourhood friends

Freckles and blue eyes

Moments captured

Love

Danni xx

I just can't get you out of my head...

I had an encounter yesterday with a gorgeous gorgeous little man at Finn's preschool. I saw him in the morning when he was being dropped off and my first thought was "Oh he looks like a  cherub" He had that white blond hair, big blue eyes and beautiful skin with rosy cheeks. But a real sadness in his eyes.

I also thought about him a couple of times throughout the day ( hectic as it was). When I went to get Finn that afternoon the same little boy came up to me and stood leaning on my leg as I was talking to the teachers. We were having a good old natter and this little one just kept hanging around... I found myself absently playing with his hair as I talked - not even realising what I was doing - just like it was one of my kids. He looked up at me with these big blue eyes and my heart melted. I told one of the teachers how gorgeous I thought he was , that there was something about him and that I hadn't seen him before. They said that he was in foster care and not sure how long he was going to be there. My heart melted a little more.

As we continued our social chat, he stayed by my side - then ever so quietly and gently, I found these little fingers and hand slipping into mine - holding on tight - just like it was meant to be there. My heart melted completely.

I wanted to take him home with us there and then.

As some of you know.. we tried for a baby for 7 long years. It was a long and rocky road and included a lot of heart ache and loss. But - we got there in the end and have been blessed with two beautiful children.( More about this journey in another posting at another time)

Along the journey at several points, I contemplated foster care and adoption. But since having my two, these thoughts have been pushed back into the recesses of my mind ( what a scary place that must be!) - however they have always been there. I am a carer by nature, I can't help it - sometimes to my detriment I know - but that's who I am.

The Big Cheese and I decided a couple of months ago that we wouldn't have any more children - a concept that I initially struggled with - although I supported it, I just couldn't get my head around it. I mentioned then to him that I was OK with this as long as we didn't rule out Foster Care completely... being the big hearted man that I married him for.. he agreed.

I can't help but feel that I encountered this little man today for a reason... after all... I don't believe in consequences, do I??

Danni xx

Tolerance....

I have been thinking a bit about tolerance and intolerance lately.

I have witnessed a few situations that caused me to think about it and to wonder why people think/act/react in ways that they do. For the majority there is usually a larger underlying issue, I understand that. What I don't understand is why people believe that THEIR thoughts/beliefs/practices ( or lack thereof) are better than anyone else's? It's the holier than thou attitude that I find hard to accept and understand.

People expect respect for their beliefs but more often than not - the more vocal ones are the ones with the least respect for others.. how does that work? I struggle to understand the logic behind this. My understanding is that respect is a mutual thing - a two way street. Maybe I am too idealistic and naive.

I struggle to understand a lot of things


But this concerns me.


The human races' lack of tolerance and respect for each other saddens and  concerns me .

A lot

I was never a huge fan of Michael Jackson, however I can't get this song out of my head as I think of these things at the moment:  Heal the world

Not much more to say today really - other than I wish there was more tolerance in the world - at all levels - then this world might be healed a little and be an even better place for us all

I'll close my eyes, make a wish, and blow.....

Danni xx 

Vintage Visits

I take Ruby and Finn to visit some Vintages at a local(ish) Nursing Home

from time to time.

I like to call them Vintages - sounds much nicer for the kids than

 "Oldies" or "Old people".... it has a richness to the sound of it

that comes with the territory of age and the fondness

that we feel for them.  

 Unfortunately we haven't been in a while - only a couple of times since

Christmas I think and Finn asked today if we could go.
Writing this reconfirms for me just how much I love going and how much I miss it.
 Must aim to make it a more regular part of our lives again.

Before we starting going - we didn't know anyone living there

( but I do know one of the RN's)

We know quite a few of  them now.

Ruby and Finn each have their favourites ( as do I - sssshhhh) and the

Vintages love having the kids around. A lot of them suffer from

dementia and other illnesses that deprive them of their

dignity and in a lot of ways their history - but it

certainly doesn't deprive most of  them of their character.

Many of the Vintages don't have  visits from friends or family,

so we like to be substitutes .
Kid/Vintage therapy - works both ways!

( I did have a laugh though when Bob* asked me who I was there to see
and I said everyone.. he thought about it and said - "Including me?"
I nodded
He thought about it again and looked at me like I had lost my mind
and said
" But I don't know you from a bloody bar of soap"!!!!)

Some weeks Finn takes in his "guitar" and leads them in a round of

"Row, Row, Row your boat" and hands out tambourines

and castanets for them to join in

Sometimes  a quiet cuddle and a smile is all that is needed -

he's good at that too - and he just seems to know

Ruby likes telling the Vintage ladies that their blankets are pretty-

gives a little tickle on their hands or feet and a big grin that

melts any heart.

She gives good cuddles too.

Leonard* and Finn like to play coits sometimes - Finn knows where they are

in the cupboard and takes them over to him.

He encourages Leonard in a way that is almost a complete

role reversal.

I love it.

Stan* is wheelchair bound - but quite independent (read strong willed) Not the happiest

about where he resides but happy to complain to

anyone who stops still long enough to listen!

Finn often asks Stan if he's happy today or grumpy???

Stan is never happy - but I do see a twinkle in his eye at Finn's question.

Lillian* asks me several times every visit, quite conspiratorially:

"How is it that
 you have managed to have one blue eyed and one brown eyed child?????"
.... my secret is safe with her - she told me so - with a wink!

Dolly* is my all time favourite. She is just so sweet I could squeeze her.

Poor Dolly doesn't always make a whole lot of sense

when she chats to you, but I can tell you~

her smile when she sees the kids

speaks with the clarity of by gone years.

She loves a laugh - and loves it even more if you laugh along with her.

Dolly's eyes are amazing - such depth - she could be a poster girl for

the saying that the eyes are the mirrors to the soul.

 So sad her family live within ten minutes of the

Nursing Home but rarely see her.

I would have liked to have known her in her younger years

One of Finn's favourites sings all the time. She sings instead of talking -

 for the most part anyway. Some of it makes sense - other times

it's a case of repeating:

"Dinga Donga dinga donga.. ding ding dong dong dinga donga"

Finn calls her "Dinga" when he talks about her...

he thinks she's hilarious and loved it when Stan was

 grumbling about something near her

and she just started singing:

 "Buggar off silly fool buggar buggar buggar cranky old man"

I love that Finn and Ruby ( although she's a little young)

 never question why she sings instead of talks... that they

just accept that people are in wheelchairs without asking why,

that they are not frightened by the distortion and fragility that age can bring

nor do they show any fear when Milly* is shaking so much that she takes

ages to even say hello then spills her lunch down her top. Finn simply

smiles, waits and suggests I get her a wipe while Ruby says

Uh-Ohhhh like she does when she spills something.

He lets Dolly hug him and pull him onto her tiny lap

and rock him back and forth while saying

"lovely boy, lovely oh isn't he lovely"

He just goes with it and smiles.

I hope that compassion and caring never changes

Danni xx

* Names changed out of respect