Hmmmmm....

I just have to start with this ~ I took this photo,

and while it is a little out of focus,

I just LOVE it - and it is straight off my iPhone -

no instagram or any other app -

that is the colour of the sky the day I took it!

I've been in a bit of a blog fog lately...which is why I've probably relied so much on photos in my last few posts.

There is so much going on in my head and so much I want to write about that I'm not sure where to start, and how to make sense of it all....

Then I remembered Van Gogh's words:

"If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint"...

then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced"

Wise words.

So - here I am! Maybe I'll start with some photos that I've taken recently... I'm using photography as my creative outlet at the moment ( we've all gotta have one, right???) - Plus these images just make me smile - even if they're not techinically perfect! 

As I've mentioned several times before here , here and here ...music impacts my life in a big way. Here's what's been helping me lately. We sing this at Church and I just love it.

Power Of Your Love

Sometimes I feel like I need more of a guiding hand - then I realise that it's there, I'm just not using it! I get too side-tracked sweating the small stuff...

I'm trying very hard to pull myself out of the funk that I'm in at the moment - but sometimes the magnitude of things overwhelms me and I succumb to old ways.... silly, I know.... but in the words of good old Neil Diamond

"...everyone's got rainy days

it isn't so much if, but when"

The sun has been shinig beautifully today and spring is definitely on it's way - the flowers are blooming, the weather is warming up and the kids are loving playing outside again ! So I've focused on that today!

Talk again soon - I'm writing about "Truths" too at the moment - it's pretty confronting - and I think that's where my "block" is....

Love

Danni xx

There's a hole in my bucket...

Part of why I started this Blog in the first place... (besides being so completely inspired by Meredith at Count It All Joy was because I was feeling a little "blah" and negative. So I thought that maybe by putting my thoughts "out there" and by making a conscious effort to be more positive and to try to see the good/happy/colourful/positive things in my life and concentrate on those as opposed to dwelling on the negatives that it would help.

And it definitely has.

But I also think I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to constantly be "up" and positive about EVERYTHING - at least on a surface level and how I presented myself to the outside world.

Truth is, I took this so much to an extreme ( a tendency of mine) that it actually became a bit of a facade. Not in the kind of "fake it til you make it" way - which was my intention... but more of a " no, you're not allowed to have a down day... you can't feel like that .... you have nothing to be sad about... you just can NOT feel blah anymore in any way about any thing..."

I realise that this put added pressure on me. Correction - I put added pressure on me.

I'm only human, right?

While of course I was actually seeing the Colour in my world and being thankful for all the blessings in my life... I too felt that my bucket was near empty.

 I remember years ago our wonderful [now retired] family GP told me that it was a wonderful thing that I gave so much to others and that I cared blah blah.... but that if I was constantly watering others from my bucket... and mine wasn't getting replenished in the way that it needed to be... then my bucket was going to run dry! It was one of those "ah-hah" moments for me. Might sound simple and logical but at the time it was the only thing that struck a chord.. .and I set about filling that bucket up again... or finding the way to let others do that too

I realised the other day that the red light was flashing on my bucket gauge and I needed to do something about it. I needed to acknowledge that I have needs to ( they are actually quite simple I think) and to take responsibility regarding them.

I had a conversation with a family member that perhaps put things into perspective for me. I think I've said it before that it's funny how it takes someone else to reinforce what you already know yourself. I was on a little bit of a "poor me" rant and she gently reminded me of a few home truths. Not nasty ones, but ones that made me realise that I'm feeling sorry for myself about the things that actually make me who I am and that make me the happiest.

I remembered also, the words from a couple of addresses at Church over that last few weeks about : Truths ~Your own truths and what they mean to you and Healing ~ That I can still help and heal others (pain) and remain doing what I love but must remember to draw strength from other places so as not to "sap" my energy and take on board others issues. That's where I was going wrong...

Maybe my bucket wasn't nearly empty... I think there was just a hole... but I fixed it Dear Reader, Dear reader.... fixed it!

 

Danni xx

No Matter What...

Who would have ever thought that I'd be using Boyzone as an influence

or inspiration for my blog...
or at all really????

I heard/listened to/sang this song at Church the other week,

and haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since.
( see, I told you that music has a big influence on my life
-it has a way of talking to me and makes me think)

It was only after talking to my beautiful, honest
and skeptical friend ,
(who is here from overseas at the moment)
that I realised and had confirmed just how much
I love my Church,
what it represents
and how much it's helped me to grow.
So Thank You dear friend x

I'm slowly learning to have faith
in my faith

I'm slowly learning to have faith
in me!

"No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true "

I LOVE that line:
What we believe is true
My beliefs are my truths,
just as
your beliefs are yours.
Isn't that great?
Even when I'm not certain of what my beliefs are,
and even if our beliefs vary,
isn't it nice to think that they are still valid,
that they still provide comfort and peace to us,
as individuals?

Listen to the song here (click)

 

Lots of love to you ALL

No matter what

 

Danni xx