Forgiveness

I saw the Oprah show the other day where she interviewed a set of twins that had both been sexually abused by memberS of their family ( yes I meant the capital S ) During the course of the interview - the topic of forgiveness arises.. naturally I guess, given the nature of the show and the topic.


Oprah quoted her favourite definition of Forgiveness:


      "Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed"


I think forgiveness is such a hard thing to do - for the majority of us - maybe because it's also a hard thing to define. I admit - initially when I heard the above quote - I thought it was fabulous and was like "yes, that's it - that's really it - so simple yet, yes! That's it!" ( okay - I can get a little excited about these things sometimes)

However, I have since had time to ponder this a little more - and I really don't think it can be that simple, can it? Or can it? I guess by choosing to forgive, you are choosing to live in the present and  future, rather than in the past. You don't have to forget, but you can release and move forward. It is a conscious decision. The pain and hurt can still be there - it  may just take more time - but the process could be helped along with forgiveness, perhaps?

I think I've come to the conclusion that  forgiveness shouldn't deny responsibility for behaviour. Rather, I think that it means that it's a conscious commitment to not hold the other person in debt for that behaviour. This includes ourselves.

As we know better, we do better. I'm striving to know better....

Danni xx