Vintage Visits

I take Ruby and Finn to visit some Vintages at a local(ish) Nursing Home

from time to time.

I like to call them Vintages - sounds much nicer for the kids than

 "Oldies" or "Old people".... it has a richness to the sound of it

that comes with the territory of age and the fondness

that we feel for them.  

 Unfortunately we haven't been in a while - only a couple of times since

Christmas I think and Finn asked today if we could go.
Writing this reconfirms for me just how much I love going and how much I miss it.
 Must aim to make it a more regular part of our lives again.

Before we starting going - we didn't know anyone living there

( but I do know one of the RN's)

We know quite a few of  them now.

Ruby and Finn each have their favourites ( as do I - sssshhhh) and the

Vintages love having the kids around. A lot of them suffer from

dementia and other illnesses that deprive them of their

dignity and in a lot of ways their history - but it

certainly doesn't deprive most of  them of their character.

Many of the Vintages don't have  visits from friends or family,

so we like to be substitutes .
Kid/Vintage therapy - works both ways!

( I did have a laugh though when Bob* asked me who I was there to see
and I said everyone.. he thought about it and said - "Including me?"
I nodded
He thought about it again and looked at me like I had lost my mind
and said
" But I don't know you from a bloody bar of soap"!!!!)

Some weeks Finn takes in his "guitar" and leads them in a round of

"Row, Row, Row your boat" and hands out tambourines

and castanets for them to join in

Sometimes  a quiet cuddle and a smile is all that is needed -

he's good at that too - and he just seems to know

Ruby likes telling the Vintage ladies that their blankets are pretty-

gives a little tickle on their hands or feet and a big grin that

melts any heart.

She gives good cuddles too.

Leonard* and Finn like to play coits sometimes - Finn knows where they are

in the cupboard and takes them over to him.

He encourages Leonard in a way that is almost a complete

role reversal.

I love it.

Stan* is wheelchair bound - but quite independent (read strong willed) Not the happiest

about where he resides but happy to complain to

anyone who stops still long enough to listen!

Finn often asks Stan if he's happy today or grumpy???

Stan is never happy - but I do see a twinkle in his eye at Finn's question.

Lillian* asks me several times every visit, quite conspiratorially:

"How is it that
 you have managed to have one blue eyed and one brown eyed child?????"
.... my secret is safe with her - she told me so - with a wink!

Dolly* is my all time favourite. She is just so sweet I could squeeze her.

Poor Dolly doesn't always make a whole lot of sense

when she chats to you, but I can tell you~

her smile when she sees the kids

speaks with the clarity of by gone years.

She loves a laugh - and loves it even more if you laugh along with her.

Dolly's eyes are amazing - such depth - she could be a poster girl for

the saying that the eyes are the mirrors to the soul.

 So sad her family live within ten minutes of the

Nursing Home but rarely see her.

I would have liked to have known her in her younger years

One of Finn's favourites sings all the time. She sings instead of talking -

 for the most part anyway. Some of it makes sense - other times

it's a case of repeating:

"Dinga Donga dinga donga.. ding ding dong dong dinga donga"

Finn calls her "Dinga" when he talks about her...

he thinks she's hilarious and loved it when Stan was

 grumbling about something near her

and she just started singing:

 "Buggar off silly fool buggar buggar buggar cranky old man"

I love that Finn and Ruby ( although she's a little young)

 never question why she sings instead of talks... that they

just accept that people are in wheelchairs without asking why,

that they are not frightened by the distortion and fragility that age can bring

nor do they show any fear when Milly* is shaking so much that she takes

ages to even say hello then spills her lunch down her top. Finn simply

smiles, waits and suggests I get her a wipe while Ruby says

Uh-Ohhhh like she does when she spills something.

He lets Dolly hug him and pull him onto her tiny lap

and rock him back and forth while saying

"lovely boy, lovely oh isn't he lovely"

He just goes with it and smiles.

I hope that compassion and caring never changes

Danni xx

* Names changed out of respect